Why anxiety: I have always taught that anxiety is a biological necessity. In the right amounts it helps us prepare for important matters, helps keep us out of harm’s way, and helps us respect and adhere to the norms of the particular society with which we identify.
Many people are wondering how much is enough anxiety for the circumstances we find ourselves in today. It seems all bets are off—the systems we rely on appear threatened in some countries, our own schools closed for a time (a once unthinkable prospect), and the environment and economy are both unsettled.
So I thought I’d spend a few minutes today encouraging you think about the biological purpose of anxiety, to help you with some ideas about how you might use it as designed, and to recommend ways in which you and your families might manage the weeks ahead.
The emotion of preparation: If we think of anxiety as an emotion of preparation, and remind ourselves it evolved with us to keep us safe, we can thank our pre-ancestors for its presence in our lives today. They survived because they were vigilant to danger, and to put things simply, that capacity still lives inside of us. It is so persistent, it is referred to as the negativity bias—our own tendency to pay differential attention to things that feel dangerous to us. Luckily for us, this means we don’t typically fall asleep behind the wheels of our cars, or forget to prepare for tests or big presentations. Unluckily, many of us also tend to habitually scan our environments for danger, paying special attention to the negative and ignoring the good things around us.
And aren’t COVID-19, and now the triple-demic a perfect set-up for us all? It is very easy to go online and find lots of information—some fact based, much not—that will scare the daylights out of us. And what with many of us still working from home, there is even more time to doom scroll. It is easy to forget as we go deeper into the web of ideas that some simple practices are the best and most effective things we can do to help ourselves manage this moment in time.
What the experts say about COVID-19, RSV and flu preparation: Here is a link to the tried and true infectious disease control recommendations from the CDC. Use your anxiety in the biologically intended manner to follow these best practices.
And then what?: For many right now, these practices will not sufficiently dissipate anxiety. You may find yourself worrying about the stock market, the security of your employment—so many things you have no control over. And my best recommendation at this moment is something I teach my patients all the time, how to breathe properly. Slow deep breathing (you can find many techniques online, I personally love the Headspace app) actually calms your autonomic nervous system by harnessing your parasympathetic nervous system. This may help you let go of the things you can’t control as you calm your body and mind.
Keeping community in a challenging time: We are, by design, communal. Our pre-ancestors survived by banding together, and most of us prefer life in our communities to a life of isolation. So please remember to remain connected and engaged. Don’t just wait for this to end. If you have youngsters, work to create a bit of magic in the pause—teach someone to knit, haul out favorite old games, bake cookies, finger paint, dance in the living room. Your youngsters will take their cues from you, and will surely learn to manage their own fears through your example.
And everyone should remember the importance of fresh air and exercise. So much better for us than that 16-hour festival of epidemic movies you’ve been toying with watching!
If you find yourself turning to drugs or alcohol, both SMART recovery and AA have many online meetings—join one today. Here are links to their web-based communities.
If you are finding your anxiety is overwhelming you right now, please reach out to others. You do not have to manage this alone. If you would like to talk about online therapy for this time in your life, feel free to call me at 503-490-5793.